In a world often characterized by chaos and constant motion, finding moments of balance can feel like a rare and precious gift. Our attention is perpetually diverted by technology, familial/relationship/work responsibilities, and the often unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves. Yet despite the hustle and bustle of daily life there exists an opportunity to discover beauty in the harmony of opposing forces. These moments provide us with a chance for self-reflection, offering a bird’s-eye view of our own lives. Prioritizing balance requires daily, intentional effort, as the adage “the squeakiest wheel gets the most attention” remains relevant in our day to day.
An imbalance in physical, mental and spiritual realms can indeed wreak havoc on our lives. Our bodies register and absorb everything, particularly our subconscious thoughts and feelings. If we repeatedly express how exhausted, stressed and overwhelmed we are, that is exactly how we will show up in life. I can attest to this because I’ve experienced it firsthand as most of us have. As a single mother working full time with limited support for years, boy did I not only embrace this persona, I fully embodied it. Had I paid attention to my body’s signals and all those warning signs earlier, my path would not have been so difficult. In periods of my own inflexibility and survival mode, I found myself most obstructed and dissatisfied with the direction of my life.
I remember going to a therapist probaby about 16 years ago or so and was truly at my breaking point. I simply could not function at the level that my life demanded and I was struggling with deep depression and anxiety. Sitting in this therapist’s office, already quite nervous in general, I had a sudden, significant shift in energy. As I sat there almost ready to bolt something profound stopped me, and told me I got this. I made time for myself, and actually physically made it to the appointment. As I drew in a deep calming breath, the therapist walked in.
She was a small Asian woman, very petite and established in her career. She walked with determination and had a no nonsense demeanor about her. I liked her instantaneously. She wasn’t warm, she was efficient. As she sat there and I told her all about my life, through tears of course, she would simply nod, take notes and let me keep talking. I talked most of that hour with minimal interruption from her.
At the end of the hour, she sets her clipboard down and leans back in her chair with a stern face and says, “Just stop what you’re doing.” Highly confused and alarmed I looked at her and waited for the rest of her painfully divine message. “You are the architect of your life’s chaos, and no one will swoop in to rescue you. It seems like you’re seeking someone, perhaps me, to repair either you or your life, but that won’t occur. If you’re dissatisfied with your life, alter it. If you do not feel valued in your career, change it. If the responsibilities of being a single parent overwhelm you, seek better ways to manage it. Engage with other single parents, build or join a community where you can help one another. The reason you’re in this current state is because you’ve allowed yourself to be a victim of your circumstances. It also sounds like you’ve gotten very comfortable in a sufferer role.”
GULP.
Stunned, I remained speechless for what seemed like an eternity. It might have been just a minute, but every word she uttered struck me like a heavy blow. That’s why I resisted the urge to leave and stay put. My soul knew I needed to hear this. Although her words were brutal to digest, they were precisely what I required-raw honesty from someone who wasn’t afraid to hurt my feelings.
After expressing my gratitude, I wasted no time initiating changes in my life. While transformation didn’t happen overnight, I now regard that event as one of the most pivotal moments of redirecting my path. I shifted my perspective to see my life as a blessing rather than a burden. Despite some circumstances being more difficult to change, I focused on areas where I could make progress, gradually shifting my focus towards a more fulfilling existence. I learned to celebrate small victories and extend grace to myself when needed. That year marked the beginning of my commitment to managing balance in my life, starting with embracing the fact that I am the author of my own story.
